(Recent) History

I teach English. Not as in English to people who don't speak the language (well, sometimes, but that's a topic for another blog altogether). In fact, I teach English composition, creative writing and literature at a local community college. One of my favorite assignments each semester in my creative writing class is called an Auto-Summarize Me poem. It's based on the MS Word function that condenses an entire document into a digest version. If you've never done this, you should try it. Discovering what the computer deems most important in a document is always humorous. There have been entire dissertations written on this Auto-Summarize function and how it "summarizes" literary classics, such as Dante's Inferno. I digress...

In the Auto-Summarize Me poetry invention, the goal is to take the last few years of our lives and put them into as abbreviated a version as possible, all while still containing some elements of creativity. These poems are expected to be choppy, frenetic.

As any good writing teacher knows, we must write alongside our students. It's considered a practice-what-you-preach pedagogical strategy, but really I think we do it to dispel the myth that "those who can - do, and those who can't - teach" (H.L. Mencken). In any event, in keeping with this strategy, here is my Auto-Summarize Me poem:

(Recent) History

Thirteen months of chocolate-covered divorce.

I find I love theory and can't spell on the iPhone.

My kids love me more (I lie!), 

but I loved them first.

Surprisingly, revenge sometimes tastes like funnel cake.

It's ok sometimes for my friends to flake on me,

but I will pay them back with babysitting requests.

P.S. Found out my divorce was final today...finally!